I'm actually so pleased that your mother has felt able to discuss the future with you, and to help you by choosing a song.
Yes I agree that it is hard subject to think of talk about however I do believe that you have taken a giant step forward by making this post.
When my parents past away, just 32 days apart, I was at a loss as to what to do. My mother died on the day that my sister flew home to Vancouver and I was left to organise the funeral by myself. What an unexpected and frightening experience but one that I had to undertake, with no real idea of musical taste and little knowledge of her childhood, as a total mark of respect and love.
Don't be afraid, rather take the time to talk to your mother, if you haven't already done so, to find out as much about the family history and anecdotes that you can. You will remember the things that you learn for the rest of your life, and be able to pass them on to your children.
When a parent dies they do not vanish out of your life, they are with you for each and every day that you are alive.
Finally my sister flew back from vancouver to Glasgow, for a pre-arranged visit on the day our father died.
Visited my mums today and she approached me to say she wanted this song at her funeral.. I've never been very good at dealing with death. It's something that's sure to happen at some point but it freaks me out. As a younger person I always thought the idea of death would grow easier with time but it hasn't for me yet.
I had to plan funerals for both of my parents and had no idea what song to play at my Dad's. I remembered a couple of hymns that he liked from his days in the RAF so I managed to dig out recordings and it ended up being really fitting. My Mom's was easier as I just handed them Cliff's Greatest Hits, it was all going well until they played Mistletoe and Wine, which kind of destroyed one of my favourite Christmas songs
As for the idea of death becoming easier to deal with as one gets older, I thought the same as you, sadly the opposite seems to be happening as it gets closer with each year
Was it Woody Allen who said "I Am Not Afraid of Dying. I Just Don't Want To Be There When it Happens"?
Certainly hasnt/dosent get any easier for me. It wasn't until my mum started to get ill 4 years ago that I started to really give ageing any thought, up until then I'd been gliding along quite nicely in my own little bubble. I didn't even look any different or at least thats what I thought! Now there are times when I feel I'm just whiling away the days until it's my turn.
Anyway now I've cheered you all up I'm off to listen to some choones.
On Saturday nights I am outvoted by Mrs F and #1 daughter when it comes to TV choice so I'm usually sat there with my headphones in whilst they watch Cowell & Co.
Even after so many series they still keep telling me to remove my headphones and 'just listen to this one', with the inevitable 'you're so grumpy' when I give my response. You'd think the message would have hit home by now
You can imagine the arguments we have in the car when they try to replace my Led Zeppelin CD with Now #